Message #252:
From: AzTeC SW Archaeology SIG
To:   "'Matthias Giessler'" 
Subject: Real-life sequel: the gods must be crazy?
Date: Fri, 09 Aug 96 14:21:00 MST
Encoding: 66 TEXT

[ Sorry, Smoke --  While this tale sounds akin to a great 'urban legend,' or 
some cautionary tale of anthropological fieldwork, I can't help but feel as 
if someone is selling a bridge.....      :-)     --   SASIG Ed. ]

From:  Michael 'Smoke' Pfeiffer 

In a move IBM office are hailing as a major step in the company's ongoing 
worldwide telecommunications revolution, M'wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire's 
Bantu tribe, used an IBM global uplink network modem yesterday to crush a 

Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand,easily cracked it 
open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful modem.

"I could not crush the nut by myself," said the 47-year-oldNdeti, who added 
the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later.

"With IBM's help, I was able to break it."  Ndeti discovered the 
nut-breaking, 28.8 V.34 modem yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial 
in his southwestern Zaire village.  During a break in shooting ,which shows 
African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese 
schoolchildren, Ndeti snuck onto the set and  took the modem, which he 
believed would serve well as a "smashing" utensil.

IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able to 
provide Ndeti with practical solutions to his everyday problems.

"Our telecommunications systems offer people all over the world global 
networking solutions that fit their specific needs," said Herbert  Ross, 
IBM's director of marketing.  "Whether you're a nun cloistere in an Italian 
abbey or an Aborigine in Australia's Great Sandy Desert, IBM has the ideas 
to get you where you want to go today."

According to Ndeti, of the modem's many powerful features, most impressive 
was its hard plastic casing, which easily sustained several minutes of 
vigorous pounding against a large stone.  "I put the nut on a rock, and I 
hit it with the modem," Ndeti said.  "The modem did not break.  It is a good 

Ndeti was so impressed with the modem that he purchased a new, 
state-of-the-art IBM workstation, complete with a PowerPC601 microprocessor, 
a quad-speed internal CD-ROM drive and three 16-bit ethernet networking 
connectors.  The tribesman has already made good  use of the computer 
system, fashioning a gazelle trap out of its wires, a boat anchor out of the 
monitor and a crude but effective weapon from its mouse.

"This is a good computer," said Ndeti, carving up a just-captured gazelle 
with the computer's flat, sharp internal processing device.

"I am using every part of it.  I will cook this gazelle on the keyboard." 
 Hours later, Ndeti capped off his delicious gazelle dinner by smoking the 
computer's 200-page owner's manual.

IBM spokespeople praised Ndeti's choice of computers.  "We are pleased that 
the Bantu people are turning to IBM for their business needs,"  said company 
CEO William Allaire.  "From Kansas City to Kinshas a, IBM  is bringing the 
world closer together.  Our cutting-edge technology is truly creating a 
global village."

[ Source: Lawrence Eagle-Tribune ]